A Day with Friends and Family

March 1, 1997 – A Day with Friends and Family

Today was spent almost entirely with friends and family. In the morning, we were visited by Dr. John Anderson and family, who had spent the previous night. They are from Nashville, TN, but love to drop in on us in Sausalito. We had a nice leisurely walk by the bay and talked of many things. Later, my cousins came over from Oakland.

All of this made me fairly exhausted, so I listened to a guided imagery tape preparing me for chemotherapy. I found the tape to be confusing because the speaker offered too many choices. I find that following specific directions is much more useful than something like, “Pick a relaxing spot – maybe a beach, or a meadow, or a mountain top, or…” I seem to pick all of the places as they are mentioned and wind up picking none. However, once I adjusted to the changing scenery, I relaxed quite nicely and utilized the tape to develop a sense of what good the chemotherapy would do for me.

At night, we visited our friends who had been on a trip to Africa and viewed their collection of slides. I was impressed with the quality of their photographs and their caring support. Besides, the food was great.

All in all, it was a pleasant day almost entirely removed from thoughts of my illness. Sometimes it’s good to allow your illness to float to the background and have a normal life. This gives you a hint of what life will be like when the disease goes into remission.

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The Papilla Tree in the Forest

February 28, 1997 – The Papilla Tree in the Forest

Early this morning, I received a call back from Dr. Shipley, and I asked him about the side effects of the chemotherapy and radiation. He said that I should have a positive attitude and perhaps I’d feel a little tired, but I shouldn’t worry! I guess he knows! This set me up for a fine day!

I next attended Leslie Davenports cancer group at Marin General Hospital. During the guided imagery, I was taken by two images that were very healing. The first was an emotionally open heart that reminded me of Ram Dass’ song:

Listen, listen, listen to my heart’s song…
I will never forget you, I will never forsake you.
Listen, listen, listen to my heart’s song…
I will never forget you, I will never forsake you.

The second image was even more powerful. There I was, sitting under the papilla tree with Siddhartha Gautama, and I realized that he was sitting there for me. It was now up to me to sit under the tree for those that follow me. It was a powerful image that connected me directly to the Buddha and his teachings of emptiness and the path with a heart. On completion of the guided imagery, I drew a picture, on which I wrote,

The Buddha sat under the papaya tree for me…
I must sit under it for those that follow me.

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